Thursday 23 January 2014

A beginning of unbridled lack of possibilities

So, once again a new year rolls in, and as I blearily get up for work every morning I think to myself “There has to be a better way to live than this”, and once again I try and think of a way to use my not inconsiderable talents to make money and be happier.

And once again, I think I should write something. This year however, I have a distinct advantage. I had a look at my laptop, and apparently in last years desire to do something worthwhile I managed to knock out yet another opening chapter of yet another novel (the number of currently unfinished novels I have on hard drives and bits of paper round my house seems to number 6 or 7, the number which have more than the opening chapter currently stands at 2).

So, in an attempt to prove my 1st year english teacher (Mr Beavis) correct in his assumption that I had “a real gift for creative writing”, and my 6th form history teacher (Mrs Fursman) right that I had “an ear for the felicitous phrase”, I intend to actually follow through and finish this one.

This blog will now become a document of procrastinatory fun for me, as I can write this to tell the world how badly I am getting on with doing any real work, instead of doing any real work. Having generally always got stuck after the 1st chapter (I'm very good at setting the scene, just no idea what the actual scene is afterwards usually) I have a plan.

This time, I am plotting, rather than trying to let it unfold in front of me. I am not 17 anymore, and the ideas come at me in dribs and drabs now, rather than fully formed in hallucinogenic visions. Probably because I had so many of them back in the day. So I am spending my evenings writing endless character back stories, so I know what they will do before they do it, and hellishly intricate plot ideas, before screwing them all together into one big mash of fun. It is a whole new form of procrastination, which me and Rizla enjoy a lot. Rizla enjoys it because the best way to think of good ideas is to walk for hours on the moors, and she, being a dog, enjoys that kind of thing. I being a very forgetful bloke, enjoy it less, as I've normally forgotten all those good ideas by the time we get back home again.

This weekends plan is to clear out the summer house into the old leaky studio shed, so I have somewhere nice to work, as it has a lovely view over the moors, and a very comfy chair. Very enjoyable procrastination indeed.

So wish me luck, I might manage it this time, and then I can watch as it fails as badly as all my musical endeavours to date have managed to.

Chin up.


  1. You should stop trying to write in such a linear fashion. I was having trouble after the first chapters myself but then I realised that it is not the further chapters that are the problem, it is the transitions. Now I just get inspired and I type something out that can appear in a later chapter. Gradually I get a whole load of these bits all stacked up. Then I can read them and think, this bloke obviously doesn't have any idea, and so I rewrite them again but bumf them out a bit. Once I have enough of those I just need to stitch them together, bish bosh, job done, move over Rowling.

    1. I like your plan, however, my lack of plot generally extends to the later chapters as well Ro. Inspiration is sadly lacking most of the time. This time I intend to revert to a simpler form of inspiration, wine and Hawkwind records. Will try and think of later stuff as well. Ta.

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